July 2010

Going through changes is not an easy task.  Making real change in your life-style means becoming uncomfortable, stepping outside of your comfort zone.  I don’t like it.  I don’t live alone any longer and am having a little trouble adjusting to when I’m not in  a good mood and want to be alone.  I don’t like showing my negative behaviors around others.  It sure is easier to be in a bad mood, when you’re alone.   I would like to crawl into bed and sleep for the next couple of days!

Now, I have to face my bad behaviors because I have people in my house that I have an influence over.  I’m so irritated that I can’t hide!  😀  I actually have to face these things, and face them I must.  Not only face them but face them with new healthy behaviors!  This is where the real change happens.

Today, I hate it!  I realize, however, this is exactly what I need to go through in order for my negative habits to go away and perhaps deal with them in a more positive manner. 

I have eaten poorly in the past 3 days due to my irritation and bad mood.  I must find another avenue, other than food.  Writing today’s blog is one way.


Why, oh why, does this happen?!?  I’ve lost 5lbs this week, I shouldn’t feel fat!  I should feel thinner with weight loss.  I hate days like these, especially when I have a first date tonight.  I wonder if that has something to do with it, hmmm. 

I also very much dislike because I woke up feeling this way, it brings my mood down to where I don’t feel confident today. 

Somehow I need to change my mood so when I go on my date, I feel confident in the way I look to match the confidence I feel in myself as a person! 

I have nine hours to change my attitude!  I can do it.

Where does the time go, my friends!  It’s July 1st, 2010.  My desire has been to blog my health journey, which lately has fallen by the waistside. 

I have not stopped my health journey, however I’ve had my struggles the last few months. I’ve been around the same weight for the last 5 months or so.  I’ve lost a total of 105lbs and need to lose 70 more!  I weigh in at 204.  I’ve been between 197 and 223 the last 5 months.  I can’t seem to stay under 200. 

My trainer talks about Desire and Belief.  You have to have both in order for change to happen in your life, no matter what it is.  I’ve had the desire and passion to lose the rest of the weight but have not really believed I can weigh 130lbs.  I haven’t believed I can get the agility back in my knees and the physical fitness to where I can do just about anything when it comes to activity and sports.  Without the belief, the motivation has died even though the desire has been overwhelming. 

Then, when I got comfortable losing 105lbs and comfortable in my new body the desire to lose more was gone!  I get compliments all the time on how good I look now and how desireable I am now. My doctor, friends, family are all very proud of me. I feel fantastic and look good.  The belief came back because of what I’ve already accomplished but the desire to push and do more died. 

Therefore I have been in a “Self-Induced Plateau”.  I read a blog today that helped me realize where I am and the encouragement I got back was tremendous.  It’s a trainer’s blog and she used this expression, which really hit the nail on the head.  It’s been my mental attitude that has kept me from moving forward. 

My trainer believes once I make it through this wall of mental status, get back to the desire with the belief that I can do it and get under the 200 mark….the rest will melt off and I will get to my goal.  He told me on Tuesday that I need to be comfortable with getting uncomfortable.  I need to eat clean, even though I don’t want to.  I need to cleanse, when I don’t want to.  I need to workout, when I don’t want to.  That’s when the success comes in, not when it’s easy. 

Today I’m feeling the desire as well as the belief that I can get to my goal of True Health & Wellness for my life.  I’m definitely uncomfortable today, so I’m in the right place 🙂  I’m on day 2 of a 7 day cleanse.  I worked out on Tuesday with my trainer.  Yesterday I did 50 mins on the treadmill at an 8 incline at 3.5 speed with 4 one minute runs at a 3 incline and 5.3 speed.  Tonight, my best friend is coming over and it’s Competition Thursday.  We’ll do a combo of strength training and cardio for one hour.