health journey


Going through changes is not an easy task.  Making real change in your life-style means becoming uncomfortable, stepping outside of your comfort zone.  I don’t like it.  I don’t live alone any longer and am having a little trouble adjusting to when I’m not in  a good mood and want to be alone.  I don’t like showing my negative behaviors around others.  It sure is easier to be in a bad mood, when you’re alone.   I would like to crawl into bed and sleep for the next couple of days!

Now, I have to face my bad behaviors because I have people in my house that I have an influence over.  I’m so irritated that I can’t hide!  😀  I actually have to face these things, and face them I must.  Not only face them but face them with new healthy behaviors!  This is where the real change happens.

Today, I hate it!  I realize, however, this is exactly what I need to go through in order for my negative habits to go away and perhaps deal with them in a more positive manner. 

I have eaten poorly in the past 3 days due to my irritation and bad mood.  I must find another avenue, other than food.  Writing today’s blog is one way.

Why, oh why, does this happen?!?  I’ve lost 5lbs this week, I shouldn’t feel fat!  I should feel thinner with weight loss.  I hate days like these, especially when I have a first date tonight.  I wonder if that has something to do with it, hmmm. 

I also very much dislike because I woke up feeling this way, it brings my mood down to where I don’t feel confident today. 

Somehow I need to change my mood so when I go on my date, I feel confident in the way I look to match the confidence I feel in myself as a person! 

I have nine hours to change my attitude!  I can do it.

Where does the time go, my friends!  It’s July 1st, 2010.  My desire has been to blog my health journey, which lately has fallen by the waistside. 

I have not stopped my health journey, however I’ve had my struggles the last few months. I’ve been around the same weight for the last 5 months or so.  I’ve lost a total of 105lbs and need to lose 70 more!  I weigh in at 204.  I’ve been between 197 and 223 the last 5 months.  I can’t seem to stay under 200. 

My trainer talks about Desire and Belief.  You have to have both in order for change to happen in your life, no matter what it is.  I’ve had the desire and passion to lose the rest of the weight but have not really believed I can weigh 130lbs.  I haven’t believed I can get the agility back in my knees and the physical fitness to where I can do just about anything when it comes to activity and sports.  Without the belief, the motivation has died even though the desire has been overwhelming. 

Then, when I got comfortable losing 105lbs and comfortable in my new body the desire to lose more was gone!  I get compliments all the time on how good I look now and how desireable I am now. My doctor, friends, family are all very proud of me. I feel fantastic and look good.  The belief came back because of what I’ve already accomplished but the desire to push and do more died. 

Therefore I have been in a “Self-Induced Plateau”.  I read a blog today that helped me realize where I am and the encouragement I got back was tremendous.  It’s a trainer’s blog and she used this expression, which really hit the nail on the head.  It’s been my mental attitude that has kept me from moving forward. 

My trainer believes once I make it through this wall of mental status, get back to the desire with the belief that I can do it and get under the 200 mark….the rest will melt off and I will get to my goal.  He told me on Tuesday that I need to be comfortable with getting uncomfortable.  I need to eat clean, even though I don’t want to.  I need to cleanse, when I don’t want to.  I need to workout, when I don’t want to.  That’s when the success comes in, not when it’s easy. 

Today I’m feeling the desire as well as the belief that I can get to my goal of True Health & Wellness for my life.  I’m definitely uncomfortable today, so I’m in the right place 🙂  I’m on day 2 of a 7 day cleanse.  I worked out on Tuesday with my trainer.  Yesterday I did 50 mins on the treadmill at an 8 incline at 3.5 speed with 4 one minute runs at a 3 incline and 5.3 speed.  Tonight, my best friend is coming over and it’s Competition Thursday.  We’ll do a combo of strength training and cardio for one hour.

Well, I broke my cleanse!  I only made it 10 days instead of the 21 I was going for 😦

I have not been in a good space for some reason, which really sabotaged this cleanse.   I was not mentally into this one and felt like I was doing back to back to back to back cleanses!  I also was SO SICK of drinking the drink.  I was only drinking like 20 oz a day, not good.  That was not enough.  Dave and I are talking about doing a different type of cleanse next time.  I’m willing to look into that but I’m waiting until the end of this month or the beginning of March.  I want to mention how afraid I was to tell Dave I went off the cleanse.  I txt him and his reply the next day was, “ok, take it  easy on yourself and we’ll figure things out on Tuesday”.   He knows me and figured I was beating myself up for quitting…he was right, I was!  So I didn’t make the goal of this one.  Not a big deal right?  It’s not always going to be that way. 

 In my last post I put down my workout goals.  My bike ride was 20.5 miles instead of 25 miles.  I didn’t workout on Sunday because I was sick.  I will be working out tonight and seeing Dave tomorrow as usual.

I loved eating my fruit this morning and some carrot juice!  Two of my favorite things!  For lunch I had some cottage cheese with fresh blueberries and some walnuts!  Love this too.  Tonight I can’t wait for a great spinach salad with crabmeat!  I love flavors of food and finding new combinations that make my mouth water and palate happy!

I sure have gotten back into the routine of working out!  It’s been killing me, haha!!   I’ve been seeing Dave, my trainer, on a regular basis again – twice a week.  He’s really been kicking my butt!  During this cleanse I have zero inflammation to my knees so he’s having me  do more walk/runs!  My legs are sooo sore.    My rest times between cardio and weights are less now too and he closely watches the time.  Sweat is pouring off by the end of the hour!  I used to get grossed out by all the sweat that literally pours off but now it’s almost like a badge of honor!  Does anyone else feel that way?  In fact sometimes I gauge my workouts by how sweaty I can get. 

I must confess I was a big baby and complainer this week with Dave.  Each time I left dripping in sweat.  My mental status is not in a good place now.  I clearly don’t see the big picture this week.  It plays with my head when I work out doing a lot of cardio and don’t see the results I want on the scale!!!    I can’t believe how much it brought me down yesterday.  This is why I don’t own a scale and am weighed by Dave only.  I’m clearly still unable to use it as just a tool.  It affects my mood in a negative way!  😦

My planned workouts for the next several days looks like this:

Today (Friday) – DAY OFF!!! 

Saturday – 25 mile Bike Ride (all flat)

Sunday – Gym, Treadmill Walk/Runs for 1 hr and some weight training

Monday – Gym, Treadmill Walk/Runs

Tuesday – Workout with Dave

Wedneday – ???

Thursday – Workout with Dave

I’m cleansing again for another few weeks.  (The Master Clease) This one will help me get through this plateau I’m on.  I’m at the weight now I was for at least 5 years or so.  My trainer and I don’t want to lose the momentum in the weight loss so here we go again!  I’m also hoping this one will bring me down a solid 12 to 15lbs so I can really start to run more during my cardio work outs.  I want my knees to be back to normal soon.  I wonder how much more weight has to come off for that?  Or if they will ever be back to normal where I can hike again, run again, have agility to play tennis better and SO much more! 

My last cleanse was more of an emotional detox then anything else.   I was able to cleanse a lot my emotional relationship attachments.   I’m still working the relationship I have with food too.   Every time I do a cleanse I learn more and more.  You’d think that wouldn’t be true since I’m not eating solid food on a cleanse.   However, when I’m not eating I have to walk through all of what life brings me and not use food to cope or celebrate.

I find it interesting how my close friends, co-workers or even strangers react when I tell them I’m on a cleanse.  I have a few friends who get mad because our plans can’t revolve around food.  I realize food is a big part of the way society celebrates and seems to be the focus of fellowship with each other.  But perhaps that’s why American’s are the biggest we’ve ever been!!  Everything revolves around food.  I’m learning to look at food as nutrition more and more.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to look at it 100% that way because one of my favorite hobbies and creative outlets is cooking.  The Food Network ROCKS!!!  I know if I had the thought of becoming a chef when I was a kid, I’d be doing that today professionally!  That’s how much I love flavor combinations and love tasting really yummy foods. 

With that thought, I love photography too!  Perhaps I can combine my two loves someday and write a healthy cookbook and take all the photo’s for it too! 

Ok, back to cleansing…. Here’s a list of 17 benefits from cleansing that I’ve seen and experienced:

  1. Zero Inflammation in my body (especially my knees)
  2. Very Soft Skin
  3. Sleeping much better
  4. Blood Sugar Lvls are within normal range (I’m a diabetic)
  5. Great way to start a healthier routine and develop better eating habits
  6. Weight Loss
  7. Eliminating Unhealthy Cravings for Healthier Ones
  8. Feeling So Clean Inside
  9. Total Detoxification of the Body
  10. Removes Heavy Metals
  11. Immune System Becomes Stronger because it Cleanses Impurities like Bacteria, Parasites, Pollution, Viruses, Fungi & Toxins
  12. Cleanses Vital Organs such as the Liver, Colon, Urinary Tract, Skin Pores, Sweat Glands to allow them or do their functions better
  13. Energy Levels and Stamina are Higher
  14. Aides in the Fight Against Additions (for me food)
  15. Detoxing of Emotions
  16. Spiritual Fasting
  17. Brain Chemistry (improved memory and my thoughts become crystal clear)

Well, it’s official!  I’m now a “poster child” for my trainer’s business.  My before and after pics flash first thing.   To see it, click on this link.  http://www.truhealthandwellness.com

Hopefully by the end of the year a third pic will be up.  The last one showing a total of 165 lbs lost!

Until then, I have another 65 pounds to go.  The pressure is ON!  It’s one thing writing an anonymous blog; it’s another to be out there in front of everyone with your name on it!  🙂

I’m ready to tackle this with the help of Dave, my online friends, my close friends, my co-workers and most of all My God!

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