Well, it’s official!  I’m now a “poster child” for my trainer’s business.  My before and after pics flash first thing.   To see it, click on this link.  http://www.truhealthandwellness.com

Hopefully by the end of the year a third pic will be up.  The last one showing a total of 165 lbs lost!

Until then, I have another 65 pounds to go.  The pressure is ON!  It’s one thing writing an anonymous blog; it’s another to be out there in front of everyone with your name on it!  🙂

I’m ready to tackle this with the help of Dave, my online friends, my close friends, my co-workers and most of all My God!

 100lbs down and feeling human again! Although I’m still 65lbs away from reaching my goal weight, I feel great and look forward to feeling amazing! I just returned home from visiting family over the holidays. Traveling at a size 14 is a whole new ballgame then it was 4 years ago when I was a size 28. The last time I flew on an airplane was physically and emotionally draining.  I remember the anxiety I felt walking down the aisle looking for my seat.  I could literally see the looks of judgment and thoughts of: “Please don’t sit next to me.” I was embarrassed when I spilled over in my seat, and when I had to ask for a seat belt extension.  Not being able to put the tray table down was unbearable. This time, I’m happy to report no one even paid attention as I walked down the aisle. I had to tighten the seat belt and had plenty of room for the tray table. I even had extra room on my seat! On the last leg home, I had the middle seat and it was no big deal!

Besides feeling healthier and 100lbs lighter, my medical conditions have greatly improved. Let me paint you a picture of where I was just a few years ago: I was 40 yrs old weighing in at 300lbs. I was diagnosed with type two diabetes (proceeded by insulin resistance), polycystic ovarian syndrome, sleep apnea, acute hypertension, high LDL and dangerously low HDL cholesterols, arthritis in both knees and hips, patella femoral pain syndrome, iron deficiency, asthma, in the high risk category for heart attack and stroke and of course morbid obesity. My doctor put me on all kinds of medication. I was taking around 12 pills a day, using a CPAP machine, an inhaler, nasal spray, and had to inject a shot of medication into my stomach twice daily! Can we say “out of control?!”

How did I let myself get to over 300lbs? What happened!? How could I solve this issue for good? I would hear things like: “Just stop eating so much. Eat non-fat foods only. Count calories or points. Eat our food. Ever thought of surgery? All you need is ‘my’ program or video…” You get the picture. I’ve tried it all, except for the surgery. The diet programs would work to lose some weight but I would eventually gain it back plus some. I was never able to stick to an exercise program because it wasn’t for the obese or I would push myself so hard into injury. There was a period of about 6 months I went through physical therapy for my right knee due to using the leg machines incorrectly.

Either way, diet or exercise got me frustrated and as always I would give up. About 3 years ago when I started injecting medicine for my diabetes I began to lose weight. The side effect for using Byetta was loss of appetite, which resulted in weight loss. I lost about 70lbs in 9 months. From there I got into a relationship where I stopped focusing on my health. I wasn’t anywhere near my goal weight but I looked and felt better. Slowly I began to gain weight and before I knew it a year later I gained 55lbs back. Seriously, again?!? TIME OUT! I’m not doing this again, no way, not this time!

What do I have to do to make this a lifetime lifestyle that is natural and not a chore?  Have you ever googled the word healthy? It showed 189,000,000 results. Holy Cow!? How was I going to figure out what was right for me? I needed help and not with just diet and exercise. It became painfully clear I had emotional and mental ties to food and my health in general. I knew I needed knowledgeable guidance and accountability. I decided to Google, ‘personal trainer health and fitness in San Diego’. That’s where I found Tru Health and Wellness. I was intrigued by what I read because it not only talked about exercise and nutrition by metabolic typing but the emotional and mental side of it too. I took a few days to really think and pray about this as I knew this wasn’t in my budget. I finally decided to make my health a priority and invest in me. Besides, how much money was I spending on all the doctor visits, blood work, and medications? I had no idea what to expect and admit I was completely terrified to walk in for my consultation. Did I have too many medical and physical problems, would they understand obesity and all that it comes with are they really going to be able to put an individual program to fit my needs? Yes, beyond my expectations!

This journey has not been without struggles, setbacks and pain (both physical & emotional.) It took a while for me to truly trust my trainer especially when it came to looking at the emotional, mental and spiritual side of this journey. However in order for me to achieve a lifetime lifestyle of true overall health and wellness in all areas I had to face certain aspects of my life. I couldn’t have gotten this far without my trainer guiding and walking through this with me, always being in my corner and never letting me give up. The success so far has been both learning how to not give up during the setbacks, struggles and pain, but also finding new and healthier ways to deal with problems. For the first time I feel confident I will not gain it all back again because the habits I’m forming are becoming natural. On my visit home, a family member asked me if it was ok to eat fries in front of me. I responded with of course it’s ok. I didn’t order the fries because I can’t have them; it was because I didn’t want them. My food choices today are based on what I’m craving and what I want to eat. It just happens to be 90% of the time they are healthy choices now. Eating healthy is finally not a chore.

My medical issues today? Well, my last visit to the doctor showed for the whole year of 2009 my LDL has been below normal range and my HDL is reaching normal, my blood glucose levels have been below the diabetic range (technically I‘m not diabetic anymore), I’m not taking any more shots, my sleep apnea has greatly lessened and will not need my CPAP machine very soon, my knee pains have lessened, I only take about ½ of the medications, and the best news is that in one year I have decreased my risk of heart attack and stroke by almost 60%!

Looks like I’ve been taking a break from blogging for a while.   It wasn’t  a specific choice I made to take a break…just life happened and got out of the habit during the summer.  It’s definitely not summer anymore as Christmas is just around the corner! 

Although I took a break from blogging I did not take a break from my health journey.  I broke through some major milestones in all areas of my health, spiritually, physically, medically, mentally and emotionally! 

Some of the highlights are that I’ve now lost 100lbs!!!  When I started to seriously look at my health about 3 yrs ago, I weighed in at 300lbs!  I’m now 200lbs!  What a journey it has been so far.  I have about 65 more pounds to go to get to my goal.  I feel great but can’t wait to feel even better.

Another highlight is that for this whole year of 2009 my diabetes has been under 6%, which means according to all the blood work and numbers I haven’t been classified as diabetic.  However, I will always classify myself as a diabetic who’s got it under control.  It’s a progressive disease and don’t want to get caught off guard and it return unnoticed until its bad again.  My doctor took me off 2 of my medications this year as well!  I’m still on the high blood pressure pills, which is something I wanted off of soon.  I’m taking it on a regular basis now and its better but not consistently better.  Also, I wear a CPAP at night for my sleep apnea.  I know that’s getting better because I didn’t wear it one night and I didn’t wake up tired or with a sore throat!  My doctor said I can get re-tested soon.  I think another 20lbs off and I’ll be rid of that contraption too!

My knees are better but still hindering a rigorous workout with the lower body.  That’s still a source of frustration for me but am continuing to work through those issues. 

When I can afford it, I still see my amazing trainer, Dave.  He has been a source of consistency that I’ve needed in this journey.  When I can’t see him, he calls often to check up on me.  I’ve texted him in the low times I’ve had and seems to always be there for the encouragement needed and the kick in the ass too!  I owe him so much that I feel I can never repay.

My job drama has still been drama even to today!  I officially still do not have a job come January 1st!  I should be getting an offer letter any day now and am anxious to find out how much less I will be making so I can make the financial decisions needed to compensate for it.  Patience is something I have but not so much with this situation.  UGH!!!

This last year my eating habits have changed into natural habits for which I’m the most happy about!  I always go for the whole foods and crave it now!  I stay away from the middle of the grocery store with all the processed food that is just not good for me.   My choices are naturally the right choice 95% of the time, which I think is awesome! 🙂  I don’t see food and say, “oh I can’t have that”.  Instead I see good food and say, “oh yum, let’s have that”.   My perspective has changed in such a positive way.

I have done a few more cleanses.  I’m on a 21day currently.  This one will be over next week.  The motivation and intention of this cleanse was for purely emotional reasons.   I’m closing in on a breakthrough with some really emotional issues of the past.  Some of which I didn’t know were there.  That was one of the most surprising  things at my age to discover some new things I didn’t realize about my childhood.  These things are totally related to my weight issues as well.  I am no doubt an emotional eater.  When I began to journal and take a hard look at some things I began to overeat again and make poor choices.  I wasn’t able to control my eating.  I decided to go on a cleanse so that I’d have to walk through these emotional times and be forced to not run to food.  Needless to say this has been the most difficult time but absolutely beneficial.  I’m positive I would have been at least 10lbs heavier today instead of 10lbs lighter. 

One of the things I’m dealing with is my relationship with my father.  Short story is he cut me out of his life 7yrs ago.  His wife died in the spring.  Now he’s willing to talk to me and see me.  I made plane reservations to go see him over the holidays.  I’m even staying at his house.  I’m excited at the possibility of a real reconciliation with him but also very nervous at my expectations. 

I’ve been feeling down lately and instead of looking at all the great things (everything listed above) I’ve been only seeing my failures.  When I opened up my blog I noticed that one of my top 3 posts that people are still looking at is the one titled, “Never let the sense of Past Failures Defeat your next step”  written on 2/17/09.  I proceeded to open and read it.  Have you ever read a past post of your own and found it just what you needed to hear!!  Its interesting how my own words became inspirational to myself…haha!  Love it!

I hope everyone is continuing to enjoy this journey of health and wish everyone a Blessed Christmas and Happy New Year!