I’m cleansing again for another few weeks.  (The Master Clease) This one will help me get through this plateau I’m on.  I’m at the weight now I was for at least 5 years or so.  My trainer and I don’t want to lose the momentum in the weight loss so here we go again!  I’m also hoping this one will bring me down a solid 12 to 15lbs so I can really start to run more during my cardio work outs.  I want my knees to be back to normal soon.  I wonder how much more weight has to come off for that?  Or if they will ever be back to normal where I can hike again, run again, have agility to play tennis better and SO much more! 

My last cleanse was more of an emotional detox then anything else.   I was able to cleanse a lot my emotional relationship attachments.   I’m still working the relationship I have with food too.   Every time I do a cleanse I learn more and more.  You’d think that wouldn’t be true since I’m not eating solid food on a cleanse.   However, when I’m not eating I have to walk through all of what life brings me and not use food to cope or celebrate.

I find it interesting how my close friends, co-workers or even strangers react when I tell them I’m on a cleanse.  I have a few friends who get mad because our plans can’t revolve around food.  I realize food is a big part of the way society celebrates and seems to be the focus of fellowship with each other.  But perhaps that’s why American’s are the biggest we’ve ever been!!  Everything revolves around food.  I’m learning to look at food as nutrition more and more.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to look at it 100% that way because one of my favorite hobbies and creative outlets is cooking.  The Food Network ROCKS!!!  I know if I had the thought of becoming a chef when I was a kid, I’d be doing that today professionally!  That’s how much I love flavor combinations and love tasting really yummy foods. 

With that thought, I love photography too!  Perhaps I can combine my two loves someday and write a healthy cookbook and take all the photo’s for it too! 

Ok, back to cleansing…. Here’s a list of 17 benefits from cleansing that I’ve seen and experienced:

  1. Zero Inflammation in my body (especially my knees)
  2. Very Soft Skin
  3. Sleeping much better
  4. Blood Sugar Lvls are within normal range (I’m a diabetic)
  5. Great way to start a healthier routine and develop better eating habits
  6. Weight Loss
  7. Eliminating Unhealthy Cravings for Healthier Ones
  8. Feeling So Clean Inside
  9. Total Detoxification of the Body
  10. Removes Heavy Metals
  11. Immune System Becomes Stronger because it Cleanses Impurities like Bacteria, Parasites, Pollution, Viruses, Fungi & Toxins
  12. Cleanses Vital Organs such as the Liver, Colon, Urinary Tract, Skin Pores, Sweat Glands to allow them or do their functions better
  13. Energy Levels and Stamina are Higher
  14. Aides in the Fight Against Additions (for me food)
  15. Detoxing of Emotions
  16. Spiritual Fasting
  17. Brain Chemistry (improved memory and my thoughts become crystal clear)

Looks like I’ve been taking a break from blogging for a while.   It wasn’t  a specific choice I made to take a break…just life happened and got out of the habit during the summer.  It’s definitely not summer anymore as Christmas is just around the corner! 

Although I took a break from blogging I did not take a break from my health journey.  I broke through some major milestones in all areas of my health, spiritually, physically, medically, mentally and emotionally! 

Some of the highlights are that I’ve now lost 100lbs!!!  When I started to seriously look at my health about 3 yrs ago, I weighed in at 300lbs!  I’m now 200lbs!  What a journey it has been so far.  I have about 65 more pounds to go to get to my goal.  I feel great but can’t wait to feel even better.

Another highlight is that for this whole year of 2009 my diabetes has been under 6%, which means according to all the blood work and numbers I haven’t been classified as diabetic.  However, I will always classify myself as a diabetic who’s got it under control.  It’s a progressive disease and don’t want to get caught off guard and it return unnoticed until its bad again.  My doctor took me off 2 of my medications this year as well!  I’m still on the high blood pressure pills, which is something I wanted off of soon.  I’m taking it on a regular basis now and its better but not consistently better.  Also, I wear a CPAP at night for my sleep apnea.  I know that’s getting better because I didn’t wear it one night and I didn’t wake up tired or with a sore throat!  My doctor said I can get re-tested soon.  I think another 20lbs off and I’ll be rid of that contraption too!

My knees are better but still hindering a rigorous workout with the lower body.  That’s still a source of frustration for me but am continuing to work through those issues. 

When I can afford it, I still see my amazing trainer, Dave.  He has been a source of consistency that I’ve needed in this journey.  When I can’t see him, he calls often to check up on me.  I’ve texted him in the low times I’ve had and seems to always be there for the encouragement needed and the kick in the ass too!  I owe him so much that I feel I can never repay.

My job drama has still been drama even to today!  I officially still do not have a job come January 1st!  I should be getting an offer letter any day now and am anxious to find out how much less I will be making so I can make the financial decisions needed to compensate for it.  Patience is something I have but not so much with this situation.  UGH!!!

This last year my eating habits have changed into natural habits for which I’m the most happy about!  I always go for the whole foods and crave it now!  I stay away from the middle of the grocery store with all the processed food that is just not good for me.   My choices are naturally the right choice 95% of the time, which I think is awesome! 🙂  I don’t see food and say, “oh I can’t have that”.  Instead I see good food and say, “oh yum, let’s have that”.   My perspective has changed in such a positive way.

I have done a few more cleanses.  I’m on a 21day currently.  This one will be over next week.  The motivation and intention of this cleanse was for purely emotional reasons.   I’m closing in on a breakthrough with some really emotional issues of the past.  Some of which I didn’t know were there.  That was one of the most surprising  things at my age to discover some new things I didn’t realize about my childhood.  These things are totally related to my weight issues as well.  I am no doubt an emotional eater.  When I began to journal and take a hard look at some things I began to overeat again and make poor choices.  I wasn’t able to control my eating.  I decided to go on a cleanse so that I’d have to walk through these emotional times and be forced to not run to food.  Needless to say this has been the most difficult time but absolutely beneficial.  I’m positive I would have been at least 10lbs heavier today instead of 10lbs lighter. 

One of the things I’m dealing with is my relationship with my father.  Short story is he cut me out of his life 7yrs ago.  His wife died in the spring.  Now he’s willing to talk to me and see me.  I made plane reservations to go see him over the holidays.  I’m even staying at his house.  I’m excited at the possibility of a real reconciliation with him but also very nervous at my expectations. 

I’ve been feeling down lately and instead of looking at all the great things (everything listed above) I’ve been only seeing my failures.  When I opened up my blog I noticed that one of my top 3 posts that people are still looking at is the one titled, “Never let the sense of Past Failures Defeat your next step”  written on 2/17/09.  I proceeded to open and read it.  Have you ever read a past post of your own and found it just what you needed to hear!!  Its interesting how my own words became inspirational to myself…haha!  Love it!

I hope everyone is continuing to enjoy this journey of health and wish everyone a Blessed Christmas and Happy New Year!

It’s a little after 1:00 in the afternoon here in San Diego!  The weather is so perfect and sunny with a slight breeze and I’m hungry!  😀  Well, not really.  I think I’m hungry.  I’m a little tired.

Ok so yesterday, day 1, was pretty interesting.  As I wrote yesterday I woke up to the aroma’s of my roommates breakfast that smelled amazing!  It smelled like my favorite breakfast of all time, French Toast!  Come to find out from her later that day it was not only NOT french toast it was burnt fried eggs!  Hahaha…wow!  I had such a different perception and interpretation of what that smell was.  Because I wasn’t going to eat for the next 20 days, I conjured up in my head what my most favorite breakfast food that l I love to eat (and always overeat incidentally)!   Interesting observation to keep in mind. 

I had a low level headache most of the day yesterday.  Today it’s not as bad but is still lingering a little.  I had energy and overall felt pretty good.  I was not hungry.  The drink kept me quite satisfied.  I did not get to the gym as I thought I would have.  Instead I did some journaling and meditating.  I also read scripture about fasting and took a nap in the middle of the afternoon, something I don’t normally do because I’m so busy with other things in my life. 

Towards the end of the day yesterday I attended a dinner celebration at church.  Our Youth & Young adult Pastors after 10 years are moving forward in their ministry and moving to Iowa to continue their ministry on a larger scale!  I knew it was going to be a night of laughter and tears as we remember the great times we’ve all shared with them.  And of course it was over a meal!  I was prepared and had my mixture of lemons/syrup/cayenne/water with me.  As I walked in the aroma of food smelled great!  It was a buffet of goodness!  I found a table of people to sit with that I knew very well.  I had not told anyone of my fast/cleanse prior to this evening.  I watched as people got their food, I observed how much food people got relative to their size, I listened to the conversations around the food they were eating and a few eating habits that were very different from mine.  Because I was not eating, I noticed EVERYTHING!

Another interesting tid bit was that no one asked me why I wasn’t eating anything! 

Ok, my stomach is growling…time to make another batch of yummy lemonade!  I will be going to the gym today to do some cardio on the bike & elliptical as well as laps in the pool.  I’ll be doing some journaling later I hope too!  I want to learn more and grow closer to God, myself and others by way of taking this time “alone” to really seek to change my life!

Here are some thoughts and observations I’ve had in the past 2 days:

  • There are times you need to get comfortable with the uncomfortable
  • So many events revolve around food because it’s a sense of community and connectedness
  • There are times when you need to separate yourself from others to rest so that you can be who you were created to be
  • Proclaiming a fast and setting time aside spiritually before God, to seek from Him the right way for us is necessary to live a spirit-filled life
  • I used to hide in a cave so that you can’t see me therefore can’t touch me therefore can’t hurt me! 
  • No regrets, not this time, I’m going to let my heart defeat my mind, let your love make me whole, I think I’m finally feelin something, ’cause just OK is not enough – help me fight through the “nothingness” of this life, I don’t wanna go through the motions – lyrics by Matthew West
  • Learning how to receive Love
  • I want to live a free and authentic life!  🙂

First I have to say that I woke up to the aroma’s of a fabulous breakfast my roommate had made for herself this morning!  I thought to myself, “this is going to be a long 20 days!!!”  Therefore I decided to pray before even getting out of BED, which I may not have done if I hadn’t smelled that awesome food! 

I freshed squeezed 6 organic lemons and stored it in the fridge for the day.  I added 5 Tbs of the lemon juice and 5 Tbs of the organic dark amber grade A maple syrup into a 20 oz thermos with cold distilled water.  Then commenced the shaking!  I then added a tad of the cayenne pepper and really starting shaking it!  At minimum I need to drink 40 oz of this a day, so 2 of my tumblers worth!

By the way, Grade B is better for this diet than Grade A and they say room temperature water is best as well.  But it’s also OK to use Grade A and cold or hot water for your drink.  Since I’ll be on this for 20 days I’ve decided to start out with Grade A.  When I finish this bottle I’m going to buy and try the Grade B, which has more minerals and has a stronger maple flavor and I hear is cheaper too! 

I’m surprised I put ANY cayenne pepper in this time.  The last time I did the cleanse I put too much and hated the taste….was kinda nasty.  I like some spice in my food but not hot and spicy like most of my family and friends.  I put very little of the cayenne.  I plan on trying to increase the amount slowly as the days go by. 

Ok so…I started drinking it and to my amazement…It tasted good this time and I drank the whole 20 oz in 30 mins!  I want to go make more now!  I’m already half way to minimum and it’s only 10:30am!  Looks like I’ll be drinking more than 40 oz today. 

I feel pretty stoked about doing this cleanse this time around.  Not so much the 20 day aspect but I know I can do 5 days of this and remember the small benefits from that.  I’m really looking forward to the larger benefits and all aspects of this physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually! 

My plan for today is to settle in and get used to this idea of the cleanse, go buy some laxative tea and sea salt as that’s something else recommended for the cleanse.  I plan on going to the gym for some cardio and swimming too!  I may do a little strength training at home like chest presses and such.  I have to go to the post office and purchase some gift cards for friend today too. 

Oh…get this…I am attending a huge celebration dinner tonight for our youth and young adult pastors who are moving to Iowa next week to start a new ministry!  They’ve been here 10 years now.  I”m guessing we’ll have about 150 in attendance!  If any of you attend church know that FOOD is a big part of celebrations!  This will be my first challenge to stay faithful to my quest!

This morning I feel ready to tackle the world and enjoy this process whatever it may bring!  (I may have to read this particular blog on like day 10 when I may not be feeling this chipper..hahaha!)

I have decided to do a cleanse/fast for the next 20 days!   Yes, it’s safe and yes I’m being monitored and yes I want to do this for a whole host of reasons!  The benefits out way the short term sacrifice of food.  

I’m calling it a Cleanse/Fast because I’m focusing on both aspects of this; the physical cleansing & detox of my body as well as fasting while I work on growing spiritually.   

I will be blogging hopefully everyday on how I’m doing and feeling.

During the next 20 days I’ll be meditating everyday, journaling and/or blogging as I take a look at my relationships in my life.  With God, my family (both past and present), friends, authority figures, past husbands/boyfriends, women & teens I mentor as well as my relationships with food and other things I may turn too in an unhealthy way. 

To accomplish this, I’ll be using the Master Cleanse program.  It basically consists of organic fresh lemons, organic dark amber maple syrup and distilled water…and if you can stand it some cayenne pepper!  Coming off the cleanse is the most important part when you reintroduce your body to whole foods.  I’ve been on this cleanse before but only for 5 days.  20 days is going to really be a challenge.  When I was on the cleanse for 5 days I checked my BS (blood sugar) levels very closely and they were never better.  For any new readers, I’m diabetic and was concerned doing this at first because of it.  It’s safe for diabetics.  I had energy while on this cleanse as well, which was surprising too!

I’ll have some challenges along the way as I have some special events coming up that of course revolve around …you guessed it, FOOD!  I have a retirement party, a 21st birthday luncheon, a wedding out of town and an awards show that I’m attending.  But isn’t that what life throws at you anyway?  I want to show my commitment to this fast/cleanse during these events because I have to change my relationship with food and hopefully this much of a drastic step will take me to the next level I need to be. 

Tomorrow is Day 1 and actually looking forward to it.  Dave’s advice was not to go crazy this week (in the wrong direction)  as it relates to food.  I’ve made good choices.  Tonight I’m taking my dear friend out to dinner and a movie for her birthday….her choice on both.  Looks like we’re going to Pat & Oscar’s (I’ll have a hard time resisting the best bread sticks in the world) and seeing either Star Trek IMAX version (which I’ve already seen and LOVED),  Pelham 123 or Terminator Salvation.  I wonder what she’ll choose….hmm I wonder what I’ll chose!  🙂