Where does the time go, my friends!  It’s July 1st, 2010.  My desire has been to blog my health journey, which lately has fallen by the waistside. 

I have not stopped my health journey, however I’ve had my struggles the last few months. I’ve been around the same weight for the last 5 months or so.  I’ve lost a total of 105lbs and need to lose 70 more!  I weigh in at 204.  I’ve been between 197 and 223 the last 5 months.  I can’t seem to stay under 200. 

My trainer talks about Desire and Belief.  You have to have both in order for change to happen in your life, no matter what it is.  I’ve had the desire and passion to lose the rest of the weight but have not really believed I can weigh 130lbs.  I haven’t believed I can get the agility back in my knees and the physical fitness to where I can do just about anything when it comes to activity and sports.  Without the belief, the motivation has died even though the desire has been overwhelming. 

Then, when I got comfortable losing 105lbs and comfortable in my new body the desire to lose more was gone!  I get compliments all the time on how good I look now and how desireable I am now. My doctor, friends, family are all very proud of me. I feel fantastic and look good.  The belief came back because of what I’ve already accomplished but the desire to push and do more died. 

Therefore I have been in a “Self-Induced Plateau”.  I read a blog today that helped me realize where I am and the encouragement I got back was tremendous.  It’s a trainer’s blog and she used this expression, which really hit the nail on the head.  It’s been my mental attitude that has kept me from moving forward. 

My trainer believes once I make it through this wall of mental status, get back to the desire with the belief that I can do it and get under the 200 mark….the rest will melt off and I will get to my goal.  He told me on Tuesday that I need to be comfortable with getting uncomfortable.  I need to eat clean, even though I don’t want to.  I need to cleanse, when I don’t want to.  I need to workout, when I don’t want to.  That’s when the success comes in, not when it’s easy. 

Today I’m feeling the desire as well as the belief that I can get to my goal of True Health & Wellness for my life.  I’m definitely uncomfortable today, so I’m in the right place 🙂  I’m on day 2 of a 7 day cleanse.  I worked out on Tuesday with my trainer.  Yesterday I did 50 mins on the treadmill at an 8 incline at 3.5 speed with 4 one minute runs at a 3 incline and 5.3 speed.  Tonight, my best friend is coming over and it’s Competition Thursday.  We’ll do a combo of strength training and cardio for one hour.

 100lbs down and feeling human again! Although I’m still 65lbs away from reaching my goal weight, I feel great and look forward to feeling amazing! I just returned home from visiting family over the holidays. Traveling at a size 14 is a whole new ballgame then it was 4 years ago when I was a size 28. The last time I flew on an airplane was physically and emotionally draining.  I remember the anxiety I felt walking down the aisle looking for my seat.  I could literally see the looks of judgment and thoughts of: “Please don’t sit next to me.” I was embarrassed when I spilled over in my seat, and when I had to ask for a seat belt extension.  Not being able to put the tray table down was unbearable. This time, I’m happy to report no one even paid attention as I walked down the aisle. I had to tighten the seat belt and had plenty of room for the tray table. I even had extra room on my seat! On the last leg home, I had the middle seat and it was no big deal!

Besides feeling healthier and 100lbs lighter, my medical conditions have greatly improved. Let me paint you a picture of where I was just a few years ago: I was 40 yrs old weighing in at 300lbs. I was diagnosed with type two diabetes (proceeded by insulin resistance), polycystic ovarian syndrome, sleep apnea, acute hypertension, high LDL and dangerously low HDL cholesterols, arthritis in both knees and hips, patella femoral pain syndrome, iron deficiency, asthma, in the high risk category for heart attack and stroke and of course morbid obesity. My doctor put me on all kinds of medication. I was taking around 12 pills a day, using a CPAP machine, an inhaler, nasal spray, and had to inject a shot of medication into my stomach twice daily! Can we say “out of control?!”

How did I let myself get to over 300lbs? What happened!? How could I solve this issue for good? I would hear things like: “Just stop eating so much. Eat non-fat foods only. Count calories or points. Eat our food. Ever thought of surgery? All you need is ‘my’ program or video…” You get the picture. I’ve tried it all, except for the surgery. The diet programs would work to lose some weight but I would eventually gain it back plus some. I was never able to stick to an exercise program because it wasn’t for the obese or I would push myself so hard into injury. There was a period of about 6 months I went through physical therapy for my right knee due to using the leg machines incorrectly.

Either way, diet or exercise got me frustrated and as always I would give up. About 3 years ago when I started injecting medicine for my diabetes I began to lose weight. The side effect for using Byetta was loss of appetite, which resulted in weight loss. I lost about 70lbs in 9 months. From there I got into a relationship where I stopped focusing on my health. I wasn’t anywhere near my goal weight but I looked and felt better. Slowly I began to gain weight and before I knew it a year later I gained 55lbs back. Seriously, again?!? TIME OUT! I’m not doing this again, no way, not this time!

What do I have to do to make this a lifetime lifestyle that is natural and not a chore?  Have you ever googled the word healthy? It showed 189,000,000 results. Holy Cow!? How was I going to figure out what was right for me? I needed help and not with just diet and exercise. It became painfully clear I had emotional and mental ties to food and my health in general. I knew I needed knowledgeable guidance and accountability. I decided to Google, ‘personal trainer health and fitness in San Diego’. That’s where I found Tru Health and Wellness. I was intrigued by what I read because it not only talked about exercise and nutrition by metabolic typing but the emotional and mental side of it too. I took a few days to really think and pray about this as I knew this wasn’t in my budget. I finally decided to make my health a priority and invest in me. Besides, how much money was I spending on all the doctor visits, blood work, and medications? I had no idea what to expect and admit I was completely terrified to walk in for my consultation. Did I have too many medical and physical problems, would they understand obesity and all that it comes with are they really going to be able to put an individual program to fit my needs? Yes, beyond my expectations!

This journey has not been without struggles, setbacks and pain (both physical & emotional.) It took a while for me to truly trust my trainer especially when it came to looking at the emotional, mental and spiritual side of this journey. However in order for me to achieve a lifetime lifestyle of true overall health and wellness in all areas I had to face certain aspects of my life. I couldn’t have gotten this far without my trainer guiding and walking through this with me, always being in my corner and never letting me give up. The success so far has been both learning how to not give up during the setbacks, struggles and pain, but also finding new and healthier ways to deal with problems. For the first time I feel confident I will not gain it all back again because the habits I’m forming are becoming natural. On my visit home, a family member asked me if it was ok to eat fries in front of me. I responded with of course it’s ok. I didn’t order the fries because I can’t have them; it was because I didn’t want them. My food choices today are based on what I’m craving and what I want to eat. It just happens to be 90% of the time they are healthy choices now. Eating healthy is finally not a chore.

My medical issues today? Well, my last visit to the doctor showed for the whole year of 2009 my LDL has been below normal range and my HDL is reaching normal, my blood glucose levels have been below the diabetic range (technically I‘m not diabetic anymore), I’m not taking any more shots, my sleep apnea has greatly lessened and will not need my CPAP machine very soon, my knee pains have lessened, I only take about ½ of the medications, and the best news is that in one year I have decreased my risk of heart attack and stroke by almost 60%!

Looks like I’ve been taking a break from blogging for a while.   It wasn’t  a specific choice I made to take a break…just life happened and got out of the habit during the summer.  It’s definitely not summer anymore as Christmas is just around the corner! 

Although I took a break from blogging I did not take a break from my health journey.  I broke through some major milestones in all areas of my health, spiritually, physically, medically, mentally and emotionally! 

Some of the highlights are that I’ve now lost 100lbs!!!  When I started to seriously look at my health about 3 yrs ago, I weighed in at 300lbs!  I’m now 200lbs!  What a journey it has been so far.  I have about 65 more pounds to go to get to my goal.  I feel great but can’t wait to feel even better.

Another highlight is that for this whole year of 2009 my diabetes has been under 6%, which means according to all the blood work and numbers I haven’t been classified as diabetic.  However, I will always classify myself as a diabetic who’s got it under control.  It’s a progressive disease and don’t want to get caught off guard and it return unnoticed until its bad again.  My doctor took me off 2 of my medications this year as well!  I’m still on the high blood pressure pills, which is something I wanted off of soon.  I’m taking it on a regular basis now and its better but not consistently better.  Also, I wear a CPAP at night for my sleep apnea.  I know that’s getting better because I didn’t wear it one night and I didn’t wake up tired or with a sore throat!  My doctor said I can get re-tested soon.  I think another 20lbs off and I’ll be rid of that contraption too!

My knees are better but still hindering a rigorous workout with the lower body.  That’s still a source of frustration for me but am continuing to work through those issues. 

When I can afford it, I still see my amazing trainer, Dave.  He has been a source of consistency that I’ve needed in this journey.  When I can’t see him, he calls often to check up on me.  I’ve texted him in the low times I’ve had and seems to always be there for the encouragement needed and the kick in the ass too!  I owe him so much that I feel I can never repay.

My job drama has still been drama even to today!  I officially still do not have a job come January 1st!  I should be getting an offer letter any day now and am anxious to find out how much less I will be making so I can make the financial decisions needed to compensate for it.  Patience is something I have but not so much with this situation.  UGH!!!

This last year my eating habits have changed into natural habits for which I’m the most happy about!  I always go for the whole foods and crave it now!  I stay away from the middle of the grocery store with all the processed food that is just not good for me.   My choices are naturally the right choice 95% of the time, which I think is awesome! 🙂  I don’t see food and say, “oh I can’t have that”.  Instead I see good food and say, “oh yum, let’s have that”.   My perspective has changed in such a positive way.

I have done a few more cleanses.  I’m on a 21day currently.  This one will be over next week.  The motivation and intention of this cleanse was for purely emotional reasons.   I’m closing in on a breakthrough with some really emotional issues of the past.  Some of which I didn’t know were there.  That was one of the most surprising  things at my age to discover some new things I didn’t realize about my childhood.  These things are totally related to my weight issues as well.  I am no doubt an emotional eater.  When I began to journal and take a hard look at some things I began to overeat again and make poor choices.  I wasn’t able to control my eating.  I decided to go on a cleanse so that I’d have to walk through these emotional times and be forced to not run to food.  Needless to say this has been the most difficult time but absolutely beneficial.  I’m positive I would have been at least 10lbs heavier today instead of 10lbs lighter. 

One of the things I’m dealing with is my relationship with my father.  Short story is he cut me out of his life 7yrs ago.  His wife died in the spring.  Now he’s willing to talk to me and see me.  I made plane reservations to go see him over the holidays.  I’m even staying at his house.  I’m excited at the possibility of a real reconciliation with him but also very nervous at my expectations. 

I’ve been feeling down lately and instead of looking at all the great things (everything listed above) I’ve been only seeing my failures.  When I opened up my blog I noticed that one of my top 3 posts that people are still looking at is the one titled, “Never let the sense of Past Failures Defeat your next step”  written on 2/17/09.  I proceeded to open and read it.  Have you ever read a past post of your own and found it just what you needed to hear!!  Its interesting how my own words became inspirational to myself…haha!  Love it!

I hope everyone is continuing to enjoy this journey of health and wish everyone a Blessed Christmas and Happy New Year!

Wow!  I can’t believe I did it!  20 days, who knew?!  I feel amazing physically as well as proud of myself.  I’ve got my grocery list for buying the ingredients for the veggie soup I can have while coming off the cleanse.  Coming off the cleanse is very important as to not upset your digestive system and get sick. 

Here’s my plan for the next few days:

1st day:   oranges

  • I’ll be drinking Fresh Squeezed OJ, slowly and lots of water.  I can have the lemonade if I choose….I’m guessing, not. 
  • I’ll be making my Veggie Soup tomorrow as well.  It will be hard to make and smell it without eating it until Saturday. 

 

   2nd day:  Veggie Soup1

  • Morning – Fresh Squeezed OJ, slowly and lots of water
  • Afternoon – Veggie broth only
  • Evening – Veggie broth w/all the soft veggies…YAY!!

 

3rd day:   salad1

  • Morning – Fresh Squeezed OJ & Fresh Raw Fruit
  • Afternoon – Veggie Soup
  • Evening – Veggie Soup with a Raw Salad, dressing will be a little Oil & Balsamic Vinegar

 

4th day:  Outback

  • Morning – Fresh Raw Fruit & Nuts
  • Afternoon – Raw Salad with salad beans and Oil & Vinegar Dressing
  • Evening – Outback Steakhouse!  I can’t wait to eat a good Rib-Eye Steak!  Of course my stomach is the size of a peanut now…hahaha…I’ll only be able to have like 3 bites of it or I’ll get sick!

 

So that’s the plan for coming off of the cleanse.  I have so many thoughts about what I’ve experienced in the last 20 days.  I can’t wait to share them all with you in future posts!  What I can say to you now is, it was a total success in my eyes.  I grew spiritually, emotionally, and physically (well not grew, lol I shrank! but gained knowledge).

I’ve been asked by many people on-line and in person if this is healthy.  My response is to do the research for yourself to see if this is something for you.  I believe the answer is Yes, it’s healthy.  I have found it to be something that works for me. 

I have put together the benefits I’ve found when researching that I’d like to share with you.   A lot of these I’ve already experienced!

* Cleansing is a Total detoxification of the body

* It removes heavy metals from the body

* Helps identify food allergies

* The cleanse gives you more energy with increased vigor and stamina

* It can make your immune system stronger

* Aide in the ability to fight addictions (drugs, food, tobacco & alcohol)

* Can give you mental clarity

*A great way to kick-start a healthier routine and develop better eating habits

* Aide in the start of a weight-loss program

Here’s how:

immune-system-02_t728Strengthen Your Immune System – Cleansing impurities and flooding the body with high grade nutrients allows the internal body to strenghten the immune system.

 

 vital organs

Support Your Vital Organs – Gentle cleansing allows your vital organs (liver, colon, urinary tract, sweat glands, skin pores, lymphatic system, etc.) to perform their functions more efficiently.

Love Your Liver – A clean healthy liver supports metabolism and fat burning ability.

fast food Eliminate Unhealthy Cravings and Support Healthy Brain Chemistry – Cleansing and replenishing allows the internal body to convert nutrients and healthy brain chemicals that create an environment that craves nutritious food.

 

 

 

anti-aging2 Slow the Effects of Aging – Cleansing and replenishing allows our cells the ability to attack the affects of aging head on. 

Lose Weight and Feel Great – Cleansing aids in the body’s ability to flush fat and increase metabolism.

 If you have any questions as to my own experience with it, please comment and I’ll be happy to share with you!

I have had a very busy 3 days and have not had much time to correspond let alone get onto the Internet.  I’m in the middle of day 9 today whoohoo!   I’m so happy that I’ve been able to do this.  I still feel pretty good!  I have not done the Salt Water Internal Bath yet as I haven’t had the opportunity yet.  Hopefully soon! 

The benefits I was looking for are definitely coming to the surface.  I feel cleaner, my skin is very soft although my hands are dry these days.  I’m beginning to see food differently as I’m sacrificing it.  I’m having to face my ‘out of control feelings’  I have.  I turn to food when happy, sad, angry…pick a feeling and I’ll incorporate food into it somehow!   Being on this cleanse I’ve had to deal with issues in completely different ways, which can be painful.  At times I’m floundering as to how to deal with the emotions that come up.  The one thing I’m not doing is turning to food due the this cleanse.   This is a first step for me to break this emotional attachment I have.   I have a feeling I’ll need to do this cleanse for various times and reasons for the next couple of years.  I have heightened awareness of EVERYTHING around me, not just food. 

On Friday I had a retirement luncheon to attend.  It was at a Mexican restaurant and while the food smelled good, I really didn’t want it as I am committed to this time of cleansing and fasting.  The three gals at my table asked me why I wasn’t eating and admired the cleanse I was doing, said they should do the same thing. 

My committment to this cleanse seemed to have inspired two people in my office to want to join me!  They are doing it for various reasons and said they would both start it on Saturday!  I am curious to see if they did when I see them tomorrow at work!  They both committed to the minimum of 10days.  They both wanted to be off of it by the July 4th festivities! 

I attended a wedding yesterday 5 hours away.  We did the trip in one day!  I packed up my tumblers and away we went!  The driving there and back (10+ hours in the car) were fine, even when the girls got fast food and ate it in the car.  What was difficult was all the amazing looking food at the wedding!  All the food was pretty healthy and gourmet!  It smelled so good and I felt so awkward during the time of mingling when all I had was my tumbler of lemonade!  Most people didn’t notice or care except for the group at my table when we had dinner later in the evening.  I craved and wanted every bit of it!  Yesterday was the hardest time I’ve had sitting through an event so far.  I believe some of it came from not being able to share fully in the days activities of this joyful occasion.  Also, I LOVE to cook and create dishes.  Looking at and smelling the food was not satisfying enough to figure out the flavors and ingredients so I can recreate it at home.  The tri-tip looked amazing, the grilled shrimp was marinated and smelled so flavorful as well as the grilled asparagus and zucchini.  Rosemary was a part of the smalled red potatoes too.  Oh and the stuffed mushrooms my girls gagged on!  Hahaha!  I really wanted to try that because I’m sure I would have appreciated them and enjoyed the flavors of that!

Grilled_asparagus             Stuffed-mushroom-caps         Shrimp_003    Tri-Tip-Steaks-0018

The last two days I’ve been quite ‘achy’, which is normal for the cleanse.  It just means things are moving.  My lower back has had some pain as well.  I’ve been trying to crack my back for relief by bending over at the waist and and letting my arms hang with all my weight there and just let my arms pull down to the ground.  As I relax and just let that happen my spine aligns and I can feel and hear several of the vertebrae crack.  By the way…I HATE that sound of cracking knuckles, bones etc…  My co-worker cracks his neck, which drives me crazy!  Today the cracking was so loud in my back it scared me and I jolted up!

Most of the inflammation in my body is gone.  I still have some around my knees and hips where I have a little arthritis.  I’ve had a few moments when I wanted food and was “hungry” but for the most part, it’s been just fine.  I did say today that I am NOT thirsty anymore and didn’t want to drink my food.  No more headaches either, whoohoo!  I truly believe that my attitude has everything to do with being able to do this and not be grumpy.  My trainer called me earlier to day to check in, see how I was feeling.   I told him that I’m surprisingly doing well this time and since I know it’s for 20 days I better settle in for the ride!  Getting irritated now would make this a VERY long process.

My workout went well today.  I was dripping in sweat most of the time!  I did a lot more cardio in-between sets of push-ups and work with the ball.  My knees are doing pretty good too, thank God!  I have not done any impact exercise since all the most recent knee trouble.  I’ve really been taking it easy on them and this time being ok with it.  I”m growing in that area.  That is, I handled the “step backward” better this time and didn’t beat myself over the head because of it.  I have to say that I didn’t realize that I handled it better until Dave, my trainer, made that observation with me today.  Definitely one of my weaknesses is not being okay when I feel I’m taking a step backward.  It drives me crazy and messes with me emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.  I’ve gotten better over the years with ‘progress not perfection’ but certainly have a few areas where perfectionism rears it’s ugly head and stays for a bit!  I’m  glad that I was able to get through this last hurdle faster and with more grace. 

Oh, I’ve lost 6bls so far!  For those of you who’ve been following my blog know that Dave took away my scale and I don’t weight myself any longer.  He does all the weighing and measuring but I don’t get to know what that is, quite yet.  I was shocked that he said, “hey you’ve lost 6lbs so far”, not that I lost 6lbs but that he told me.  🙂  I wasn’t expecting that.   

I had other things to share and now have forgotten. Oh yea, it’s important to make sure you get the sleep you need during this cleanse.  I didn’t get much sleep last night and my energy level was a little worse than I normally would have been.  Therefore, I’m going to bed now to wake up with Day 5 ahead of me!

UPDATE:  Now I remember, I tried my new Tai Chi DVD tonight!  It looks great and I’m going to LOVE it….once I can do it that is!  Hahaha.  I’m literally dyslexic and listening to him give instructions of left and right and back and forward and up and down and then watching knowing it’s the opposite for ME was not so easy!  It’s gonna take some practice for sure.  I didn’t get a workout or anything…just started learning some of the moves. 🙂